Friday, July 31, 2009

SOUNDWAVE lurks in space...

TRANSFORMERS 3... A.k.a. Transformers: Rise of the Headmaster. You might recall (or maybe you won’t) that I posted a Blog laying out a couple of ideas that I had for Transformers’ 2 and 3 almost a year before production on Revenge of the Fallen took place. Well naturally, the actual plot of ROTF didn’t come close to what I conjured up...but it DID feature lots of elements that I (as well as a lot of other TF fans) wanted to see: Megatron getting revived after being retrieved from the ocean depths, the Constructicons and Soundwave making their live-action movie debut, an aircraft carrier getting taken out by Decepticons at sea, a Decepticon posing as a human being sent to spy on Sam (though I didn’t mention this and the aircraft carrier scene in the Blog linked above... But I DID contemplate about these as well) and even Sam getting injured (though he actually ‘died’ in ROTF, haha) in the final battle. Oh, and the return of Barricade in the, um, Sidesways. YEA, THANKS HASBRO (SARCASM). Okay technically, other TF fans probably didn’t want that Pretender played by Isabel Lucas to show up in ROTF...and seeing Sam being brought back to life by the Matrix of Leadership. Anyways...

TRANSFORMERS: NEFARIOUS cover art by Brian Rood.

Here’s hoping someone tells Michael Bay to cut back on the dog-fornicating, Megan Fox’s leg-humping, Devastator’s testicles-flaunting and John Turturro’s ass-bearing jokes in the third film, and spend more screentime on story points like these (I know, I know— Wishful thinking)...


-The movie takes place 5-6 years after the events of Revenge of the Fallen...and the Autobots and their human allies are in the midst of a long war with the Decepticons that started after the events at Egypt in ROTF.

-Sam is out of college, now married to Mikaela, and they have a newborn son named Daniel Witwicky.

-(This is me displaying my self-indulgent side since I’m a huge space geek too, haha) Sam and Mikaela have moved to Florida, where Sam is about to start his first day on the job at Kennedy Space Center as a computer IT guy.

-The reason why Sam landed a job at NASA was partly because of the effects the Allspark had on him from the first Transformers film and ROTF. Just as the Allspark made him smart enough to go to a college like Princeton, it made him even more smarter over the years and allowed him to apply for a job at America’s space agency.

-Over the course of the years, people around the globe have started to side with the Decepticons so the 'cons won’t harm them.

-Megatron, in possession of the Allspark shard that revived him in ROTF, has found a way to use the Allspark’s powers to manipulate the humans who are "working" for him. As shown by Sam in ROTF, the Allspark can cause someone to suffer mental Megatron uses this to his advantage by driving these humans "insane" and making them dangerous to the people who side with the Autobots.

An Autobot protoform.

-The Decepticon known as Astrotrain and the Autobot known as Sky Lynx are two of the new ‘bots we see in Transformers: Rise of the Headmaster. They both pose as space shuttles.

-The Stunticons (Decepticons), Springer, Cliffjumper and Hound (all three are Autobots) also appear in TF3.

-Soundwave sends Laserbeak to spy on Sam and/or his family early on in the film.

-Over the years, Optimus Prime has developed a strong sense of trust with Major Lennox and Master Sergeant Epps, as well as select soldiers in their NEST team, and shares information regarding Transformers weapons technology with them.

-The NEST team, with the help of Ratchet, have developed armored suits that would help the soldiers survive combat against the Decepticons in battle. The NEST troops essentially become Powermasters.

-There is a human who Megatron has given the authority to control all the other humans who work for the Decepticons. He is known as the Headmaster.

Spike Witwicky as a Headmaster in the TRANSFORMERS Dreamwave comics.

-THE HEADMASTER KILLS MIKAELA during a crucial action scene (Megatron tests the Headmaster's loyalty to the Decepticons by having him eliminate Sam's wife). Sam is too late in coming to her aid. Sam is obviously distraught and out of the picture till the final battle.

-The climax of the film involves the Autobots and the Powermasters trying to infiltrate the Nemesis (which has been repaired since after ROTF, and arrives at Earth early on in TF3) to rescue more humans who have been captured by the Decepticons (such as Leo and that guy Galloway?) a way to get world governments to turn against the Autobots, and to transform the human hostages into more Headmasters.

-The Autobots and Powermasters capture a Decepticon Headmaster during an earlier action scene.

-Wanting revenge, Sam manages to take possession of the Decepticon Headmaster's suit and dons it (since it would be revealed early on in the film that the Headmasters' suits are much more powerful than those of the Powermasters) before joining the Autobots and NEST in attacking the Nemesis...and confronting the Headmaster who killed Mikaela.

-Sky Lynx is the one who transports the NEST team to the Nemesis in space. The Autobots revert back into their comet protoforms before flying up to the Decepticon flagship. However...

-My self-indulgent side wants the battle to take place in the skies above Kennedy Space Center...since we can also see an aerial battle between Astrotrain and Sky Lynx, or Starscream with the Aerialbots, or all these mofos’ duking it out at the same time above America’s spaceport.

The Ark by Alex Milne.

-Perhaps we see the Autobots' flagship, The Ark, show up at Earth. It provides aerial bombardment as Autobot and Decepticon forces battle on the Kennedy Space Center. Haha.

-OR... The Ark (commanded by Ultra Magnus? Just sayin') attacks the Nemesis in space, causing a distraction as Sky Lynx and the Autobot protoforms secretly approach and infiltrate the Decepticon flagship from behind.


-Either Sam kills the Headmaster, or Sam puts the Headmaster in a position where he is unable to escape the Nemesis just as it is about to blow up.

-The climax ends with the Nemesis being destroyed...but we don’t know what happened to Megatron, Starscream and a few other Decepticons (including Shockwave?). The Headmaster, if Sam let him live, watches as Megatron and Company desert him and leave him to become smithereens as the Decepticons' flagship goes bye-bye.

-THE FILM ENDS WITH MIKAELA'S FUNERAL. After that, Lennox, Epps, Optimus Prime and the other Autobots prepare to continue waging war against other Decepticons that have stayed on Earth. Sam, with his newborn son Daniel in his arms, looks on from a distance.

Megatron concept artwork.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

HOW to make Twilight into a better movie...

Blade sneaks up on Kristen Stewart and her metrosexual bloodsucking companion.

Here are a few more:

The new Internet meme: Bella and Edward biting the dust at the hands of Hollywood icons.

First Megan Fox and now this. That kid sure can't catch a break.

That kid should might as well give those flowers to his mom or something.

One more for the road. 'Kay I'm done.

Now if only Kristen Stewart could wear the same outfit.  But this will do.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Don't taunt a Sith Lord.

SO LAST NIGHT, I dreamt that I was in the movie Return of the Jedi. Though this was an alternate version I was in (not surprisingly. This is a dream). How was it an alternate, you ask? Well, in this version, Emperor Palpatine was desperately trying to convince Luke Skywalker into joining the Dark Side...instead of playing simple mind games with him as seen in the actual film. After Skywalker repeatedly refused, the Emperor gave up, literally packed up his belongings (don’t remember what the items were) and was about to walk away. But just as Palpatine was about to leave, Luke kept standing in his way and started to taunt him. I think I even recall telling Luke to stop f**king around and let the Emperor through. Eventually, Palpatine dropped his belongings and finally started to give Skywalker the ol’ Force lightning treatment that we all remember from the actual movie. Did I mention that Mark Hamill’s acting was, um, pretty horrendous as he convulsed on the ground from the lightning attack? Anyways, instead of Darth Vader coming to the rescue and throwing Palpatine down the Death Star's reactor shaft (actually, I don't think we were on the Death Star. I think we were on Cloud City from The Empire Strikes Back), it was some droid (don’t know if it was a protocol droid a la C-3PO) that stabbed the Emperor with Vader’s lightsaber and hauled him into the shaft. The dream ended with me taking hold of the lightsaber hilt and messing with its buttons. That is all.

Sith Lords are awesome.

Friday, July 10, 2009

JENNIFER'S BODY... The hand underneath Megan Fox's arse should be all bloodied up or something to make it look cooler. Or at least have it hold a piece of tissue that's covered in, um...uhhh...nevermind.

JENNIFER'S BODY theatrical poster.
Courtesy of BD Horror News

And here's the "red band" (a.k.a. For Adults Only) theatrical trailer that was released for Jennifer's Body a few days ago.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

SOUNDWAVE lurks in space...

TRANSFORMERS 3... Two cool artwork for two cool characters that would be cool to see in the third film. Moreso with Shockwave... The green version is cool, but if I wanted a nod to the original 1980's cartoon, I’d choose the purple.

SHOCKWAVE concept artwork.
Courtesy of Bad Flip Productions

UNICRON concept artwork... Note the 'speck' of Optimus Prime towards the bottom of the artwork for size reference.
Found on the Don Murphy message board

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Isabel Lucas as Alice, the (Decepticon) Pretender in TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN.

SO LAST NIGHT I dreamt I was an extra in Transformers 3. We were at a college campus near my house, and for the scene I was in, Michael Bay wanted me to run out of the way as Bumblebee's Camaro drove down a campus walkway just before he was suppose to transform into 'bot mode. It was a cool dream... Though it seemed like it was taking forever to get the first shot out of the way (which, in reality, would’ve already taking place since Bay is known for doing fast set-ups and getting around 40 shots—don’t quote me on this figure— done in a single day). Anyways, Happy Fourth of July everyone!! To those of you who’s a me.

The Pretender reveals itself in TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN.