Saturday, December 29, 2001

WELL, CONSIDERING THE FACT I’M GONNA BE IN LAS VEGAS ON NEW YEAR'S EVE (I'm leavin' tomorrow)...let me give a recap on 2001 today:

First of all, what a year it’s been. Obviously, the September 11 attacks top the highlights of what took place in the first official year of the 21st century. The New York Yankees finally lost in the World Series after winning 3 titles in a row (LIKE they don’t have enough titles already), Pearl Harbor wasn’t as good as people thought it’d be, and NASA successfully puts a space probe in orbit around Mars after 2 back-to-back failures in 1999. THAT, and the Lakers win back-to-back titles last June…despite a turbulent year with that feud between the Big Aristotle (aka Shaquille O’Neal) and Michael Jordan’s true heir (aka Kobe Bryant). THAT, and the Taliban regime in Afghanistan is kaput thanks to the U.S. helping rebels whup their fanatical ass. But Osama Bin Hidin’ is most likely still alive-- Bastard. And lastly, the Baltimore Ravens win the Super Bowl. Of course, it’s all about the Rams or the Raiders…two former Los Angeles teams. Mostly it’s all about the Rams.

Personally, this year was pretty much a downer for me. I actually grew very cynical and jaded after Denise told me she had a boyfriend, and also, when another girl I used to like in high school indicated to me through a conversation on AOL Instant Messenger how scandalous ladies can be sometimes, or most of the time. I even grew very resentful of people I knew personally who was with someone (my friends included), and even wondered if there was ONE girl out there who didn’t freakin’ have a boyfriend. Yup yup, this year personally sucked.

On the plus side, I managed to write four full-length screenplays this year….the Hard-Cores trilogy (all 3 scripts are 120 pages) and a separate spin-off story (95 pages) to that plot-line. Of course, if you asked me what the story is, you’re gonna be in the dark—since the stories were inspired by personal events that took place earlier this year (specifically, Denise saying she’s spoken for and an interesting night where I chilled with 4 of my friends while they hot-boxed one of my friends’ car!)--causing a real narrative to pretty much be absent from my scripts. Ewan McGregor’s character Curt Wilde remarked in Velvet Goldmine"real art isn’t based on personal experiences." My scripts can be Neo-Realist films, so SCREW YOU!

Looking forward to 2002, there ARE a couple of things to look forward to…in areas non-romance related. For starters, and in non-chronological order, Episode 2 comes out in May. And second, Spider-Man comes out 2 weeks before Episode 2 does. Third, the Lakers attempt their 3-peat beginning in April…and NASA resumes construction on the International Space Station. Yea, I’m a science guy. Haha! UGH. Oh yea…The Two Towers, the second installment to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, comes out in Winter of 2002. Hopefully, around the time of TTT’s release, Bin Laden will finally be discovered as being blasted to bits by U.S. smart bombs or finally being captured by American or British Special Forces while performing a sex act on an Al Queda male buddy. Whatever.

Anyways, that’s it for now. Here’s hoping next year is better than this year. Either that, or you can call me Cynical Man besides Parman. Or Cynical Boi besides Punkboi. Or Grumpy bastard besides Richard. The list goes on-and-on...

Monday, December 24, 2001

Woohoo, can't wait till Scary Movie 3—Episode 1: Lord of the Brooms comes out next year. It's gonna be a big blockbuster!!!

Disturbing news courtesy of TheForce.Net.

Thursday, December 20, 2001

I saw Lord of the Rings again today (one of my brothers wanted to see it) and just wanted to point out that Sean Astin's character IS Frodo's biatch and Cate Blanchett's scenes are a total waste of time...unless Frodo DOES use that bottle that she gave to him in any of the next two LOTR installments. Too bad I won't know till Christmas 2002, not that I'm actually looking forward to THAT epic film, but another one that comes out 7 months before it.

Anakin and Padme in the Geonasis arena

If you don't know what other epic film I'm talking about, then you obviously haven't read my past journal entries.

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

Well, I saw Lord of the Rings with my friends today and needless to was a great film but NO Star Wars. What I mean by this is that at 2 hours and 58 minutes, you don't know when the movie is gonna end unless you check your watch. Not to say there were a lot of boring scenes or anything, there WEREN'T. But at least you know when The Phantom Menace and Return of the Jedi are gonna end because every SW film has a big battle sequence and a nice John Williams music number at the end. With Lord of the Rings, you get an action scene that you think is gonna mark the end of the film--but then you have several minutes of dialogue, then action again, then dialogue... LOTR doesn't look like it has the same ability to draw repeated viewing by the same moviegoers that the SW films did. ALSO, Rings has very few memorable dialogue (By now you can tell I'm an elitist SW fan, haha).

Also, I like the mythology that George Lucas created a lot better, although J.R.R. Tolkien definitely created an awesome universe for LOTR. But that's another thing, with Star Wars, you ALSO have magic (the Force), you have monsters, you have wierd-looking creatures, and you have cool villians that wear black cloaks (Darth Maul as opposed to the Ringwraiths). Yet, in Star Wars you also have SPACE TRAVEL (duhhh, STAR Wars)--which makes visualizing being in the universe that Lucas created more adventurous than the one Tolkien created. I find it much more exciting imagining myself being in a lone X-Wing starfighter flying through space than being in a small boat going down a river on a trip to Mt. Doom or whatever that volcano is called in Rings. But it's all good. LOTR was a well-down film (despite the fact the death of a major character had its impact diminished by the fact he was still alive and talking incessantly even with THREE ARROWS shot into him). I'd probably watch it one more time at the theater...then see it on DVD.

Hundreds of clonetroopers board a Republic ship in Attack of the Clones
The opening battle of Lord of the Rings

Tuesday, December 18, 2001

So Lord of the Rings is being called this millennium's Star Wars, huh (but only better)? We'll see. Independence Day was called "Star Wars for the new generation" back when it came out in 1996...and look what happened. Are people still talking about it? Remember, the visionaries for Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter are the books' authors (J.R.R. Tolkien and J.K. Rowling), not the directors (Peter Jackson and Chris Columbus, as gifted as they are). Which means the real phenomenon occurred with the books themselves. George Lucas is the visionary behind Star Wars itself...not a director trying to be faithful to a popular piece of literature. If Lord of the Rings gets really good word of mouth and makes lots of pocket change (which Harry Pothead, err Potter has done so far)...then you can say it is this millenium's so-and-so. Before then, let's not get our hopes up.

One other thing: LOTR also needs cheesy yet memorable dialogue to be like Star Wars, like "May the Force be with you," "The Force will be with you always," "I am your father" (okay, that one isn't cheesy), and "I was going to go to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!" Nuff said.

Okay, I'll admit that these Sith Lord-looking dudes (Ringwraiths) look cool:


Sunday, December 16, 2001

Just wanted to point out that I saw Not Another Teen Movie last Friday. Not as funny as I thought it'd be...but it sure had quite a couple of scenes with gratuitous nudity in it! The chick who is supposed to be like Shannon Elizabeth's Nadia from the American Pie films showed her, uh, bare skin in every scene she was in during the film. And Joy Bisco from The Debut was featured a lot too.

Friday, December 14, 2001

Today, I saw the new full-length trailer to next May's Spider-Man movie...and needless to say: COOL. But Attack of the Clones is still my favorite movie for 2002 since I wanna see it for the film itself. Spider-Man is gonna rock, hopefully, but I'm mostly eager to watch it cuz my two friends and I are suppose to be extras in the World Unity Festival sequence (some scenes from this sequence were shown in the trailer).

Wednesday, December 5, 2001

21 Reasons Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic

1) Titanic's big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.

2) Star Wars has WAY cooler action figure potential.

3) Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.

4) Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is just marriage bait.

5) Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.

6) When flying towards the Titanic, X-wing pilot Wedge Antilles can't say "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it.

7) It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.

8) Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral (Admiral Ackbar of Return of the Jedi).

9) Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.

10) We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for fun.

11) Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?

12) People have not lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star Wars on the bow of a cruise liner. (PARMAN: Never heard about those incidents before )

13) Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.

14) Two words: John Williams.

15) There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.

16) Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"?

17) If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.

18) "I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookiee."

19) Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.

20) We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated "Luke... I am your father"?

21) Han Solo would've missed the dang iceberg!

Courtesy of TheForce.Net