"Suck me, beautiful!" Today, I saw American Pie 2 with a couple of my friends...and just wanted to say it was pretty funny. The bad thing though, is that Shannon Elizabeth's accent as Nadia is more painful to hear after hearing her talk normal in the first Scary Movie. Oh well. There were still a lot of funny scenes though...like Steve Stifler thinking champagne was getting poured on him even though it was, um...well, you'll know when you have to go to the restroom to unload your kidneys later on.


Last film I wanna see this summer...Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back.

Well, I just wanted to point out that the official Star Wars website has just announced the title for Episode 2. The entire name for the prequel-sequel will be, roll drums (sarcasm?):


I kinda prefer The Clone Wars, A Shadow Falls or The Darkness Within, but that's okay. People didn't like the name The Phantom Menace when it originally came out...and now it's tolerated as much as Jar Jar Binks. No wait, that didn't sound good! Anyways, I neither love the title nor hate it. I'm just like..."EH." As long as the movie itself delivers. A'ight then, latez people.

Hopefully, Lucasfilm won't find this website:



Clone soldier sketches courtesy of http://www.theforce.net
MY APOLOGIES if I'm spoiling the movie for y'all...these drawings are just too cool!!

I saw Rush Hour 2 last Friday and needless to say, it was funny! One of the best quotes from the film (not to imply some racial stuff or anything): Jackie Chan's "I'll b*tchslap you back to Africa" line. Hahaha! That counteracts Chris Tucker's earlier "I'll slap you back to the Ming Dynasty" remark. Hopefully there'll be a Rush Hour 3. Anyways, an import model was an extra in the film...Ms. Natasha Yi. She's hot! It's a good thing I took a picture with her at an Asian model show last November. All I need is an autograph by her and I'd be famous. Zhang Ziyi isn't so bad either (at least in this film), and neither is Rosalyn Sanchez, who played some U.S. Secret Service babe in the film.

I saw Planet of the Apes yesterday and just wanted to say that like Artificial Intelligence, the movie was good up until the ending...which sucked. Is it just me or this is really the first summer where I've seen movies that really sucked big time (Tomb Raider) or ended on a sucky note (see films above)? Oh well. It's next summer that I should be worried about--since next May is when I might see myself running in fear from the Green Goblin in the new Spider-Man movie...and Samuel L. Jackson's Mace Windu will be doing some major slicing-n-dicing with his lightsaber in Star Wars: Episode 2. That, and the next Matrix film comes out. Did I mention that Apes' actress Estella Warren is pretty hot, though? Also, one of my brothers saw Planet of the Apes last Saturday and said he expected the ending that the film had (he liked the film). I guess I must've been hangin' with an ignorant crowd last Friday if he liked the twist that was given to the conclusion of the Tim Burton remake. Oh well. The following was taken from an article on MSN.com:

Warning: Plot Holes is a column about narrative lapses in the movies. Today's entry gives away the twist at the end of Planet of the Apes.

A scene from Planet of the Apes
While Plot Holes usually delights in ridiculing movies that don't make sense, today it feels obliged to defend Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes remake. The movie's surprise ending has left some critics scratching their heads: The New York Times' Elvis Mitchell called the finale a "puzzler"; Slate's David Edelstein said it doesn't "make a lick of sense" and asked, "Has Burton lost his wits?"

"He hasn't—or at least, his Apes ending doesn't prove that he has. Yes, the shocker is wildly implausible, but it does hang together with a loopy sort of logic.

Here's the bit that's causing confusion (seriously, if you don't want to know the ending, please stop reading now). After a climactic battle on the apes' planet, astronaut Leo Davidson takes off in a spaceship and flies into an electromagnetic storm, with hopes of returning to Earth in the 21st century. While he's in the storm we see his chronometer spinning backward, and he does eventually crash-land on Earth—in Washington, D.C.'s Reflecting Pool, as a matter of fact. Only now, the Earth is ruled by apes too! In place of the Lincoln Memorial, there's a monument dedicated to Davidson's ape nemesis, Gen. Thade, for "saving the Earth for all apekind" or some such.

But Davidson has just traveled across the universe and time-warped centuries into the past. … So, how can Thade have already conquered Earth for the apes when he hasn't even been born on the ape planet yet?

Answer: Before Davidson leaves the ape planet, there's a quick shot of Limbo, the orangutan slave trader, rummaging through his spaceship and slyly pocketing something. Evidently whatever he pockets contains the secret to space travel. (Maybe it's a manual: "Space Travel So Easy, a Chimp Could Do It.") Thade, who's pointedly left alive at the end of the climactic battle, must have built a ship, flown into the time-warping electromagnetic storm, and landed on Earth at some point before Davidson returned. Then he led Earth's apes in a rebellion against humans, took over the Earth, and had the monument built for him.

Of course, back on their home planet, the apes don't even have simple motors yet. So, whatever Limbo takes from the spaceship allows them to, in Thade's lifetime, master physics, build computers, design spacesuits, test spacecraft, and send the general into space while he's still young enough to conquer the Earth. Remember, we didn't say it was plausible …"

-By Josh Daniel

By the way, yesterday I saw Jurassic Park 3...and needless to say--I hate Tea Leoni's character. The Spider-Man trailer was dope though; although I already saw it on Entertainment Tonight a week ago. Velociraptors are cool.

Yesterday, one of my friends and I watched Kiss of the Dragon. The movie was dope... Just like Bruce Lee, Jet Li beat the crap out of a dozen-plus inept karate students in one of the last fight scenes of the film, and made a guy bite the dust just by sticking an acupuncture (?) needle in the back of his neck! I wish I knew how to use another person's pressure points to my lethal advantage!! J/k. The next film I wanna see is Jurassic Park 3...which comes out next week.

First of all, I hate Netscape Navigator!!! This is the sh*ttiest Internet browser ever invented. I was writing a post about me watching Scary Movie 2 last week when I was trying to scroll down the text box to get to the last sentence of my post. The text box wouldn't scroll down, so I tried to move that gray bar separating the text box with the black bar that has the link to view the Blog webpage and the date I last published a post. So what happened? I move the gray bar, and all of a sudden what I wrote in the text box disappeared!! There was no way to bring back what I wrote. Damn, I'm ticked... Stupid Netscape. Oh well... I would use Internet Explorer instead of Crapscape Navigator, but I'm in the main library in Cal Poly, Pomona right now (the comp back at my house is broken) and they don't have I.E. on their computers!!!


Anyways, let's get to what I originally was gonna write. I saw Fast and the Furious and Scary Movie 2 for free last week...just like my second viewing of Pearl Harbor two months ago...'cause my friend who works at the local AMC theater was able to hook me up with free guest passes. I already talked about Fast in my last post. Scary (too lazy to type out the entire title) was expectedly lame, stupid, gross, perverted and funny. It is the type of movie that you'd enjoy just as long as you don't dish out $5 for it (which I didn't do). The next and last film I'll probably see for free is Jurassic Park 3...which comes out in a few weeks. After that my friend is quitting AMC (or so he said) and is gonna take a trip to New York next month. Looks like I'll have to pay my own ticket for the upcoming American Pie 2--but that film should be worth it. Tara Reid and Shannon Elizabeth are in it, for cryin' out loud!


One more thing: the keyboard I'm using right now is also pissing me off! Stupid unresponsive buttons...

Yesterday, I saw Artificial Intelligence and today Fast and the Furious at the theater. Ironically, A.I. had a piece of crap ending whereas Fast and the Furious was actually a pretty interesting movie...if you like the import car scene (which I do--but only for the lovely Francine Dee, Jasmin Alejandrino and Kyleah Belle...among other chicks =0). About A.I., it should have ended 30 minutes earlier than it did. The way Haley Joel Osment reached his goal at the end was kinda B.S. Oh well. Don't get me wrong though, A.I. was a good film--but it was the ending that to me was the serious flaw. Blame it on Steven Spielberg's sentimental approach to filmmaking.

Hope all of you have a happy Fourth of July this Wednesday!! I would write this exactly on Independence Day, but I dunno if Cal Poly (in Pomona) will be opened...since the computer at my house is broken right now. Oh well. Anyways, I heard that the film A.I.: Artificial Intelligence is pretty good...so I wanna see that flick. Robert Ebert gave Fast and the Furious thumbs up--so I might see that piece of crap also. Anywho, that's it for now (I'm tired of writing anyways ). Later!!

Yesterday, I went to the Laker's victory parade in Los Angeles. I also went last year after they vanquished the Indiana Pacers...but this time I left early because the friends who I went with were getting tired standing up and grew a little impatient after the parade was delayed 30 minutes. So which player did I see as the buses passed by the street we were standing on? Only Shaq, Magic Johnson and Devean George. I could've taken good pictures when they passed by hadn't the bystanders in front of me predictably raise their arms up in (mindless) excitement after the entourage reached our part of the parade route. Oh well. There's always next year's parade to make up for not being able to catch a glimpse of most of the Back 2 Back champions.


After we left downtown L.A., we went back home to watch Swordfish and Tomb Raider. We saw these films for free 'cause one of my friends works at the local AMC theater and hooked us up with free guest passes. Swordfish was good (especially the money shot featuring Halle Berry ) but Tomb Raider BLEW...with the exception of Angelina Jolie's showering scene. I fell asleep during that film...which may be the result of me being exhausted from the parade or from the plain fact that film was uninteresting. The last time I almost fell asleep in a film was in 1998 when I watched The Thin Red Line. Saving Private Ryan was way better than that flick.