Saturday, August 25, 2012
The Expendables 2... I saw the sequel to the 2010 mash-up of 1980s action heroes earlier this week, and all I can say is, it was bloody good fun! I'm not using the word 'bloody' here because I'm trying to sound British (leave that to Madonna ), but because of the fact The Expendables 2 is a lot gorier than its predecessor...especially in the first 10 minutes of the film. What's surprising, though, is that the movie has a couple of memorable lines in it. One alludes to the fact that Chuck Norris is AWESOME, and the other is true in real life:
Sylvester Stallone to Chuck Norris (after Norris comes to the Expendables' rescue in Albania): "I heard you once got bitten by a king cobra."
Norris: "Yea. It was 5 days of pain and agony." (Pause) "And then the cobra died."
Clearly, whoever wrote these lines (whether it was Stallone or one of his co-screenwriters, or Norris coming up with this quip on-set) was inspired by Chuck Norris Facts online. On a more serious note, Stallone also had this memorable quote when one of his team members gets shanked early on the film:
"Why is it that those who want to live the most end up dying? And those who want to die just keep on living?"
So true. Not just in Hollywood flicks but also in the real world.
In terms of story, there's nothing worth nothing about it in The Expendables 2. Jean-Claude Van Damme plays the movie's main villain (named, um, Vilain), and the reason to see this film is to watch Rambo, The Terminator, John McClane and Walker, Texas Ranger team up to defeat the Universal Soldier and his goons. What makes The Expendables 2 enjoyable to watch (unless you despise on-screen bloodshed) is the fact you clearly see the actors having fun being in this flick. Terry Crews and Bruce Willis make Terminator remarks to Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Schwarzenegger makes a Die Hard comment as Bruce Willis leaps into action in the film's climax. And clearly, Schwarzenegger enjoys poking fun at the fact he isn't the same muscular persona who filled the big screen more than a decade ago after completing his stint as the Governor of California last year. In the final scene of the movie, when Stallone is offered a new plane by Bruce Willis after Stallone sacrifices his Grumman HU-16 Albatross to rescue those Albanian miners, Stallone comments that the new aircraft (a decrepit twin-prop plane) "belongs in a museum." Schwarzenegger, standing nearby, dryly responds with "So do we." Talk about being a good sport.
So all-in-all, The Expendables 2 is worth watching if you're in the mood to relive the 1980s a la The A-Team, The Karate Kid (both of which were also released in 2010, along with The Expendables) and even this year's Ted [if you're a fan of Tom Skerritt (Top Gun) and/or Tom Jones (Flash Gordon)]. It's too bad that Chuck Norris reportedly won't return in The Expendables 3, though... I wouldn't have been surprised if his character talked about how he got bit by a black widow, a rattlesnake and stung by a scorpion—all at once—and lived to talk about it. To quote Ben Stiller from 2004's Dodgeball: "F**kin' Chuck Norris." He's da man. That is all.