WHAT STEPHEN SOMMERS needs to put at the beginning of his live-action G.I. Joe film (G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, which comes out in theaters on August 7)...for me to pay to watch it...

"Cooobra... COBRAAA!"

ONE MONTH FROM TODAY... Giant F**king Robots are about to return to the big screen. Along with...




Both images above courtesy of Megan-Fox.net


MeganFox-online.net







At least the folks of Sin City should know that revenge is coming...





TV SPOTS:

TERMINATOR SALVATION... I've been reading nothing but negative reviews for this fourth installment in the evil-cyborgs-amongst-us franchise, but whatever. I'll still watch it this weekend...

UPDATE (May 23): I saw the film after work last night, and um...

The robots were pretty cool. Especially the hunter-killers and T-600s.

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY, EPISODE ONE!!! In case you’re wondering why I’m honoring the 10-year release of what many call the worst film in the Star Wars saga, it’s just to validate the number of hours I spent online (in the computer lab at Cal State Long Beach... I was a freshman back in the Spring of 1999... Just thought I'd share such useful info with y'all...) reading up on spoilers for The Phantom Menace between September of 1998 [when the title was (infamously?) revealed to the public] and the movie’s release 10 years ago today. Of course, I didn’t really have to say anything about this at all...seeing as how I didn’t have this Blog back in ’99, and wouldn’t be in the position to make an ass out of myself if I posted so much coverage about the movie (just like what I’m doing with Transformers 2 right now) and later found out it was a stinker. Oh well. At least this journal entry gave me an excuse to post a random Darth Maul image here. Sith rule!

Naboo starfighters are cool too. Even when they explode.

ANGELS & DEMONS... I saw the film last night, and found it pretty entertaining. I’d compare it to The Da Vinci Code, but all I remember from that film (since I only saw it once, and that was when it came out in 2006) was that Paul Bettany played an albino assassin, and Jesus Christ knocked up Mary Magdalene. Of course, like Angels & Demons, I never read the book to that previous film, so my non-existent expectations made these two flicks fun to watch.



What made Angels & Demons amusing is that over the course of the film, it eventually explained certain trivial plot points that I found odd (I know, I know... DUHHH). One of them was why Tom Hanks’ character, Robert Langdon, didn’t carry any weapons on him when he knew he was involved in a case that involved Catholic cardinals being kidnapped and murdered. But later on in the film, the assassin explains to Langdon—after they finally meet face-to-face—that he had numerous opportunities to kill Langdon...but he didn’t ‘cause Langdon ‘was unarmed’ and the assassin wasn’t instructed to kill the ‘symbologist’ (a derisive nickname a Vatican security officer gave to Hanks’ character earlier in the movie). Still though, Langdon should’ve at least carried some kind of object to defend himself with. Unless he thought that flashlight he constantly welded would suffice against a gun with a silencer on it. Langdon got lucky this time around.



So Obi-Wan Kenobi almost became the Pope, eh? I’m referring to the Camerlengo played by Ewan McGregor. Most of the film’s twists and turns revolved around his character. In one instance you’re rooting for him to save the Catholic Church and defeat the Illuminati, and in another instance, you’re suspicious over his actions. That other plot point I referred to in the previous paragraph that I found odd: How fortunate that the helicopter McGregor used to dispose that (antimatter) bomb with in the movie's climax had a parachute packed onboard it. I can’t think of any choppers in real life that would normally be equipped with chutes. Pardon my ignorance.



While there were several twists involving the Camerlengo, it was still unsurprising that we find out that he was the main villain. The one thing you’ll notice about film thrillers: The character who acts very nice and is very helpful throughout a movie usually ends up being the main suspect. Just look at Al Pacino’s character in last year’s Righteous Kill. But all in all, Angels & Demons was still an interesting film. It carried the not-so-unique message about how religion and science can co-exist in the modern world, but that’s okay. Out of 10 stars, I give the film…an 8.

STAR TREK... I saw the film last Saturday, and needless to say, I was impressed. I’m far from being a Trekker, but J.J. Abrams totally pulled off a nice little comeback for the Star Trek franchise. The action sequences were awesome, the comedy was great (as many have stated, Karl Urban stole the show as Dr. "Bones" McCoy: "Spock, are you out of your Vulcan mind??), and it had some nice emotional moments...especially in the beginning. I must admit that I was close to becoming teary-eyed during the USS Kelvin scene. Damn those, Romulans! Speaking of Romulans, Eric Bana did a nice job as Captain Nero...despite not having much screentime in the movie. But like Darth Maul in, um, The Phantom Menace, that only added to Nero’s coolness factor.



It was a nice job of Mr. Abrams in getting Leonard Nimoy to reprise his role as Spock (Prime, that is). Nimoy still looks like the character he made so iconic...whereas William Shatner should not complain that he wasn’t approached to reprise his role as Captain James Kirk in this latest film. Unless the writers (Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, who both wrote Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and its predecessor as well) wrote in a scene that explained how Chris Pine’s Kirk gained 50 pounds at the age of 78, it was good that Shatner wasn’t included.



My most favorite scene in Trek was when Kirk, Hikaru Sulu (John Cho, of American Pie and Harold & Kumar fame) and that other character whose name I can’t remember dove down towards the platform that was blasting that beam into the core of planet Vulcan. That’s what I call ‘extreme skydiving’. What a cool action sequence...though it makes one think: If that ship was used by the Romulans for mining purposes, then why does it have such friggin’ powerful weapons?? Oh well.



In terms of the hot babes in Trek, there were only two: The Terminal's Zoe Saldana as Nyota Uhura and Jennifer Morrison (of the hit FOX TV show, House) as Kirk’s mom, Winona. All this time, I thought that that was Thandie Newton playing Uhura. My bad. I was about to say that Newton did a great job speaking with a regular American accent in this movie, but nevermind. If I was Kirk, I too would be pretty shocked that Uhura had the hots for a pointy-eared stiffneck like Spock...but I heard that’s how it was between the two characters in the 1960’s TV show as well. All righty then.



To end this Blog: Star Trek was a blast. I really do hope that Paramount makes a sequel (this first film should make bank since there’re good word of mouth and such awesome reviews revolving around it). And if it does, not one change should be made to the cast and crew. One more note about the cast: Simon Pegg (best known for Hot Fuzz, Sean of the Dead and working with Megan Fox in last year's How to Lose Friends & Alienate People) was hilarious as Scotty. One of my co-workers who I watched Trek with called Scotty's alien sidekick an Oompa Loompa. Haha. Anyways... Here’s another question I’m posing to ya'll: I wonder how the Star Wars prequels would’ve been like had George Lucas hired Abrams to direct the new films and Orci and Kurtzman to write their screenplays? Hmm... Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. I now bid you all farewell. Live long and prosper.

Yes, I know... That was lame.

DISTRICT 9... When I saw the trailer for this in front of X-Men Origins: Wolverine last weekend (no, I’m not gonna review that film), I thought it was for another Blood Diamond-type movie. Of course, with Peter Jackson as one of the producers, that was not the case. District 9 looks interesting... Might watch it when it comes out on August 14. Though one misgiving I have of this flick is of the aliens. That creature (despite its face being blurred out) resembles something you would see in a Men in Black film. Is Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones gonna make a cameo in this movie? Probably not.

AS JUNE 24 fast approaches, more Revenge of the Fallen-related goodies will be publicly released (and I'll be devoting more journal entries to them, haha). Above are three character posters that showed up on Yahoo! Movies yesterday. My favorite one is the poster for Starscream...since he didn’t have his own character sheet for the first film. This obviously means ol’ Screamer will have more screentime in Transformers 2. Awesome. What are the chances that we’ll also see sheets for the new characters, like Sideswipe, Soundwave and/or The Fallen? One can only hope...if they’re lookin’ forward to TF2, that is... Which I hope they are. Yep.

Below is a fan-made poster courtesy of 'artisttheone' on the Don Murphy message board (Don is one of the producers for the Transformers films). Pretty cool...but where's Mikaela? On that motorcycle?